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Sledge Hammer 13 (English)
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Sledge Hammer 13E (Disk 2 of 2).adf
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1994-07-14
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233 lines
Drugs
- My worst experience
by Jean
People always talk about drugs. They
point out that these products are very
dangerous for your health. They keep
on telling you that it is quite likely
you get addicted if you try this or
that kind of drugs. They also publish
that use of drugs will destroy your
life. These facts are probably true,
but no-one talks about the effects and
dark side of "just one time" drug
using. Everybody talks about drugs
and think that they know much about
them. Actually most people don't know
much about this tropic. I don't want
to tell you that I am the expert of
this theme, but just would like to
publish what I experienced during
about three months of my lifetime.
As there are quite many people trying
some kind of drug just to experience
the feeling users talk about, and then
think to quit and never try it again,
I feel obligated to tell my story. I
don't care what people think about me,
so hereby I give up my good reputation
and sicerely tell you the entire
story. I did what I did because I
wanted to. I don't agree with the
common so called cool guy picture,
just like "we smoked a lot of shit
and/or drank all the night, then we
puked all over the floor and every
place possible, how funny??"! I think
it is rather stupid or sad. Drink for
your own pleasure, but don't consider
it as a victory!
So to get to the point, by this
article I'd like to warn you before
using drugs. Be careful, you never
know what you pump to your brain!
So what happened is that my friend
and I went to a little trip to Vienna
in Austria (the place doesn't matter
though). There we met some guy, who
claimed to be an "I can get every kind
of shit" type. So why not we joined
forces and bought some hash. We drunk
some alcohol first, then we prepared
the cigarettes. I don't think I was
afraid, I would better call it excited
and I definitely had bad conscience
about what I planned to do. A bad
conscience for myself (my body) and my
parents too. I thought about what my
mother would think if she knew what I
was doing. But well I thought I was
clever enough (according to my age,
which was at that time). I also
thought I live only once, so I better
try everything, which gives me
pleasure while it is possible. That's
an interesting point too, so I'm
talking about this later on.
So here we go I smoked some nips from
that fucking cigarette and felt quite
happy about it. What exactly happened
is impossible to write down using only
human words. There are things in life
impossible to describe by our
language. You feel the lack of words
and expression. Just try to explain
what do you exactly feel when entering
a vagina, or something which almost
every scene member experienced orgasm,
or let's take the example of pain and
so on. The list is almost endless,
but usually feelings are the hardest
to describe. So what I felt was kind
of ambivalent. First I had to smile
on everything, felt happy without
reason, I also felt very light. First
it was a quite good feeling, but on
the other hand I realized I was
stupid, but I was still cheerful. So
I felt discomfort because of no-reason
happiness. It was not like drinking,
when you can be happy, but in that
case you need much stronger input to
reach that state. My body had also
ambivalent effect, it was easy to go
because of the lack of weight I felt,
but on the other hand it was hard,
because I couldn't control my steps
properly. This feeling was also
unfamiliar to me, so I began to feel
uncomfortable and wanted it to fade
away! Needless to say it didn't leave
me alone, just because I wanted to.
Anyway this state of mind wasn't that
good I expected, but it neither was a
hell of feeling!
Shortly after I began to experience
the side effects of hash using. And
here comes the physical side in the
picture! If you smoke some material
you not only have psychical, but
physical (means biological) effects.
As known, hash for example rises your
blood pressure. I had a strange
feeling to have a hat on my head, but
of course I couldn't find that.
Actually there wasn't any hat there, I
just felt my high blood pressure, but
couldn't think it over in that state
of mind. Then I began worrying, and
shortly after I experienced strange
wind effect without any reason. The
wind blew from every possible
directions even down form the sky. We
were walking four on the street and
none of my mates reported any air
movement. Then came those strange
heat effects. First I felt hot in
different parts of my body, then I
almost chilled. Strange enough!
I was panicking quite much, and I was
repeating that I wanted this nasty
feeling to leave me alone! I was
afraid I wouldn't get normal again.
My friend couldn't make me calm. I
thought I went crazy. I was sure
about (I repeat sure) that this
strange feeling won't fade away!
No-one knows why, but I was afraid of
loosing my sexual potency (didn't work
out fortunately). I wanted to die, to
go under the tramway. My mates hardly
cold stop me doing hasty things, like
this. My pupills were reported to
disappear and my whole eye was said to
be red.
When I stopped panicking at least for
a while, we decided to go to a pub and
have a seat in the end. The main
problem was that we couldn't go to any
place to have a rest. Hospitals and
homes were out of the question as we
were abroad and the I didn't want my
friends parents whose place I slept at
to see me in this condition.
It is important to make clear that
the guys (those three ones I was with)
smoked the same material. I smoked
or 4 nips from one cigarette, while
they smoked two whole fag together.
They didn't have the same kind of
effects as I had. So the bad quality
of the material is out of the
question. Actually they had the
common effects, like everybody is
talking about, when one takes hash.
So we went to a pub and ordered some
drinks. People around me told me that
beer would help me. As I couldn't
imagine anything worse than I felt
that time I took a glass beer.
Needless to say it hardly helped.
After some time I realized it was a
hell I lived through. I couldn't feel
some part of my body, I had strange
heat effects, and a very odd feeling
in my penis. I went through something
like an orgasm, but it was terrible
anyway. Strange enough.
Then the worst of all came called
partial amnesia, which means I hardly
could remember what I did five minute
ago, then I didn't know where I was,
then I could remember again, but
couldn't think back to yesterdays
events! Terrible, I thought I
destroyed my mind and it was a big
mistake, something I would never
repair again. Once again it wasn't
anything like drinking. It's also
awful when you drink too much, but it
is still nothing compared to drugs.
It was hell, hell itself!
As it was too late two of us went
home and my friend and I passed the
night at street. None of those guys
wanted to take us home, which is quite
acceptable since they lived together
with their parents. It was my worst
night ever lived through! The events
of the rest of that day are another
story.
The next day I had a terrible
hangover, but everything seemed
alright until I arrived to Budapest my
hometown. Then the sun set and as I
walked home those terrible effects
came back. I didn't even thought it
would happen, I just had a terrible
headache nothing else. Then slowly
felt dizzy and the dimensions turned
out to be a big mess around me. I
experienced these feelings in a big
awe. It was frightening, I realized
that I couldn't get rid of last night
happenings.
Turn to the next article!